8 best books for women with autism to read (+ my story)

Strong Female Character by Fern Brady

Strong Female Character is one of the best memoirs of 2023 for anyone to read – but especially those of us with autism. This story of womanhood and neurodiversity by the Scottish comedian Fern Brady is fiercely witty, heartbreaking, and oh-so-required.

This is Fern’s memoir of finally being diagnosed with autism, years after telling her doctor that she had it, ending up at a psychiatric facility when neither her parents nor school knew what to do with her, and never becoming the “right kind” of woman.

Camouflage: The Hidden Lives of Autistic Women by Dr. Sarah Bargiela

This lovely graphic novel by Dr. Sarah Bargiela is a fantastic resource for anyone who wishes to understand how gender affects autism. The name of the book summarises a message that really should be better known: that autistic women are so often camouflaged.

Camouflage is a visual journey of how women on the spectrum experience everyday life, from metaphors and masking in social situations, to friendships, relationships, and the role of special interests.

With charming illustrations and real case studies of autistic women, it also offers helpful pointers on creating safer, more supportive, and more accessible environments for autistic women.

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

At first glance, this romance novel is an unusual one, embracing themes of discovering both autism spectrum disorder and the joy of, um, passionate love. It’s the first in a trilogy, with each book focused on a protagonist needing to let go of their old way of doing things to step into a new way of living and embrace relationships that bring out their most joyful, authentic selves.

It was only when researching The Kiss Quotient that Helen Hoang was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder herself, and this adds so much authenticity to the series. If you like Helen Hoang’s writing, here are other books like The Kiss Quotient.

Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone was the first book I bought when I first started learning more about autism, and it’s a great starting point for women with autism and the people who love them.

It talks about the challenges of being a woman with autism, as well as the strengths and unique perspectives that are often overlooked. And that, especially when you’re a young woman, is so important to keep in mind.

22 Things a Woman with Asperger’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know by Rudy Simone

If Iain could add any books about autism to this list, it would probably be this guide by Rudy Simone. During the eight years we’ve been together, he’s needed to learn a lot about my quirks, strengths, and weaknesses.

This book by Rudy Simone is a really handy way to explain ASD to partners and open up conversations about the support you need from them (and when to be left alone).

The Autistic Brain: Exploring the Strengths of a Different Kind of Mind by Temple Grandin

Temple Grandin’s writing deserves a place on every person’s bookshelf, not just those with autism. In The Autistic Brain, Temple shares her own experience with autism alongside remarkable discoveries about the autistic brain.

What I love most about Temple Grandin is her focus on the contributions, not struggles, of autistic people – and how we can best nurture these contributions by making changes in our societies.

The Electricity of Every Living Thing: A Woman’s Walk in the Wild to Find Her Way Home by Katherine May

Best known for her book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, Katherine May has also penned this wonderful book about her own journey with autism.

Like Raynor Winn, author of The Salt Path, Katherine May hiked the 630-mile South West Coast Path in the UK and wrote a life-affirming exploration of wild landscapes in response.

However, it’s not mortality and loss that Katherine comes to terms with in The Electricity of Every Living Thing, but what it means to be different. She also explores what it means to be at peace with an unquiet mind, whether autistic or neurotypical.

Surrounded by wild nature, Katherine notices how she fits in with the world around her just like any other living creature: with kindness and delicate uniqueness, not awkwardness.

Odd Girl Out: An Autistic Woman in a Neurotypical World by Laura James

Many autistic women don’t receive a diagnosis until later in life, including the author of Odd Girl Out, Laura James.

It’s only after she has forged a career for herself, married twice, and raised four children that she receives a clear explanation of why she’s always felt different.

This book is Laura’s account of negotiating the autistic spectrum and her place on it, as well as understanding that ‘different’ doesn’t have to mean ‘less’.